Take Me Back!

I think we all have days. Or moments. Or a time in life that we were so genuinely happy that we wish we could go back, even for a minute and relive it.  This was one of those days. One of those truly happy days. It was Faye's 3rd birthday. We had talked about going to a museum or a zoo, or even an amusement park as a family.  I don't remember why, but we ended up at the beach.  Our favorite beach. Together.

We stopped to get ice cream first. Not even fancy ice cream. It was Thrifty ice cream from the drug store.  Brandon was able to get off an hour or two early and the baby slept almost the entire time in the wrap.  We took turns with the "real" camera.  Snapping photo's of all of the HAPPY. We had many days like this.  Days only documented in our memory.  But this day... I'm so grateful we captured this day..

Now, 10 months later, I look at these pictures and they make me cry. Every. Single. One.... Because it was before the hard. Before the tears. Before the uncertainty of a job loss.  The loss of a house. The loss of a neighborhood. The loss of a church family and a community that we loved for 2 years.  Loss of the life we had imagined for our little family. A life that we LOVED.  We feel like we lost a lot. It still hurts.  We are still sad.  Life is so hard.  And today, I just want to remember this day... 10 months ago... On Faye's Birthday.. When life didn't feel so hard..

Carlsbad, CA   10.26.2015

 P.S.  I promise I am happy and we are doing great in our new home and life.  Sometimes I just need a minute to be sad and then we do exactly what Faye Faye did at the beginning of this perfect evening at the beach. We decide to stop crying. We pick ourselves back up and we eat the sandy ice cream. (Or in my case, I find JOY in my new life in the 1000 degrees in Mesa, Arizona)